Hair??

Well, things are sloooooowly moving forward.  I faced my first day at work with my EXTREMELY short hair (wig-less).  I took the wig with me, just in case.  I was quite apprehensive my first few steps in the door, but my fantastic co-workers made me feel at ease right off the bat.  As I was walking into the building, I thought of Mary Nickles doing the very same thing but on the most popular morning TV news program.  And I thought if she can do it - so can I.  I had no idea I would be so emotional about it and that I would feel so much fear, but by today (2nd wig-less work day) it was no big deal.
I've had a couple more HR2 treatments and things went well.  However, the PA gave me more info about this whole process.  Such as, the chemo will take YEARS to get out of my system and I will have on and off episodes of the side effects until then, the neuropathy will continue off and on, and when I asked about my blood levels etc., she said I'm slowly gaining ground but "you'll never get back to where you were before".  That was something that I've never been told before and it just makes me want to work hard to at least get close!!
I had the 30 days after completing radiation doctor appt. yesterday.  My skin has healed well and I can start the re-construction process with my plastic surgeon.  I met with him about two weeks ago with him giving me interesting news, too.  He wants to redo my scar so I will get better end results, so he scheduled it of Sept. 25th. But I've got so much going on at work and Lance will be out of town that week that I've decided to reschedule it to mid-November but I don't know what day, expected recover time, etc. yet.  Then the loooong reconstruction process will start and everything will depend on how it goes from there.

Last Saturday I attended the Breast Cancer Survivors luncheon, with my sister, and Mary was the key note speaker.  I was amazed at what a great job she did!  She had us all laughing and crying at the same moment.   So of course, I had to get a pic with my chemo buddy and our short hair!  And she's only about six weeks ahead of me but her hair is really growing fast!! What an inspiration!
I understand I was on TV from this event and I'm even on Mary's facebook page.  I'll have to figure out a way to see it!
I'm feeling better everyday but still have a LONG way to go!
Thanks for your continued prayers and support!
Love ya
Nancy

Moving forward...

I've been doing really good with the radiation treatments - more of a lose of time than any physical problems.  My last treatment will be on Monday, Aug. 27th (Mom's birthday).  I'm getting a pretty good sunburn patch on the side of my neck and upper left chest area and a little fatigue but that's about it.  The sunburn may get a little worse the first week or so after completing radiation and then better after that.
Yesterday I had another echo (heart ultrasound) to check on the valve problem.  Got the results today and all looks good again which means I'm good to start the Herceptin treatments again.  WhooHoo!! So I had one this afternoon and the port problem resolved itself, too!!  So I'm moving forward again and feeling better all the time.  I just wish the chemo brain side effect would totally leave.  I lose a word that I know I know and it takes a few moments before I find it and get it out - very frustrating!!  I have so much more understanding for people's physical/mental dilemma's having had this experience!
In case you haven't heard, I'm going to be a grandma again!  Dexter and Melissa announced they are pregnant and due in early January!  This will be grandchild number seven! They have decided not to find out the sex of the baby this time which I think will be fun!!  Melissa will get a taste of what it used to be like for us older folks who did not have the opportunity to know what sex to plan or prepare for. I think it will be fun not knowing and even more exciting when we find out the day its born!!
I have four brothers and sisters that I'm so very grateful for today!  They have been my rock through this battle and I love them, their spouses, their children, their spouses and kids so much.  Besides their love and support, I've received gifts of all kinds, hand written letters, drawings, etc.  The sacrifice of their family time to support me through this battle and with the race for cure walk in May, was emotionally overwhelming.  I truly could not verbalize how I felt that day - some even walked in my name in other races going on in other cities and states!!  I'm so proud of our family and very grateful for all the things they have done for me!
Love you all!
Nancy

Ups and Downs?? Bummed!

It's a quick trip every weekday for a radiation treatment for five weeks and as of yesterday I have I week down and four to go.  I can literally arrive for treatment and walk out the door in 15 minutes!  So far no real issues or pain.  They say it will be like a bad sunburn the last couple of weeks and every person is different - so we'll see how it goes... I really like the nurses/radiation techs and my radiation doctor.  They are all really friendly and helped me feel really comfortable fast. I never thought I'd get so used to disrobing!
Last Friday I was scheduled for another Herceptin chemo treatment and met with the Physicians Assistant first to get the Echo cardiogram results.  The first thing she said was "We're going to post-pone the Herceptin treatments" which I quickly wanted to know why!  Evidently, the echo showed one of the valves in my heart is now not totally closing.  She said it can happen due to history of high cholesterol, heart problems, and if I remember right - high blood pressure, none of which I have.  It can also happen as people age (they live with it fine) or could it be from the Herceptin drug.
So we've cancelled chemotherapy for one month.  After that month, I will have another Echo to see if it is still there.  If it's healed, we can start treatment again.  If not, I will have additional heart tests, i.e., stress test, EKG, etc., to see if they can figure out if it's just due to aging or what.  So basically, I'm on hold for future chemo treatments (which if I figured it right is about another 8 or 9) until this gets figured out or healed. After the news about the heart issue, I fell into a totally BUMMED OUT mood!!!  But, I was quit thrilled to learn that I can continue the radiation treatments!!!!
The week prior I had started to feel so much better - more like myself - that I could really see the light at the end of the tunnel and had planned in my mind that by the first of next year this would all be done and over with.  Now, depending on results, this will continue well into next year which will incur more costs - deductibles and out of pocket maximums to meet again!! Nothing had hit me this hard since I had started all these treatments and could feel myself getting depressed.  Luckily, Lance could see this and planned a road trip the next day to help get my mind onto other things.  We looked for some recreational property and ended up very near my brothers cabin.  They happened to be and we were able to spend some time with them - which really helped me alot!  We don't get to see them often enough and we had a real good time! Thanks Deb and Lynn-love ya lots!!!!
This week I've been working this week and on my way home on day I suddenly remembered that the port is supposed to be flushed if you don't have a treatment.  So I had an appt. for that after the radiation treatment today.  But as things sometimes go....it would flush but they're supposed to suck some blood out after they push in the flushing fluid and they couldn't get any.  Even another nurse tried and couldn't get it.  I don't know what's up with that!!!  They weren't too worried about it because they could get the fluid to go in - just nothing back out - so in another month, when it's determined if I'll have chemo treatment or not - they'll have to do something else to make it work again.  I'm hoping that's not too bad but I'm not going to worry about it until then!
You know how you have ups and downs?  Well, it's just been alot of downs for the past week but I try to pull myself back up cuz I KNOW it could be worse!!  Like they say - It's better then the alternative!!
LIVE, LAUGH and LOVE OFTEN!!!
until next time....
Nancy

Next - Radiation...

Tomorrow is my first day of radiation. Then it will be everyday, M-F for five weeks. I'm a little nervous to get started but I'm sure I'll adapt quickly and long for it to be over.
Food is tasting much more normal finally.  Now I'll just have to make sure I don't try to taste everything! My hair is a little more than a half inch long with alot of white!  I'll blame that on the chemo, too, LOL!  The wig is very hot during the hot weather we've been having. So the family saw alot more hats and my bald head during our vacation but even the little ones got used to it quickly. I had them rub their hand over my head so they could feel how soft the new hair is.  They thought it felt funny and it was fun to watch them giggle about it.
On our vacation, we did a float down the river on a raft and I did alot of paddling.  I thought I'd be sore but I think my flabby muscles needed the work out and it actually felt good! The day we were in Jackson Hole was 97 degrees and the heat got to us all but we had lots of fun playing cards and games at night. 
My ankles continue to swell up cuz of the chemo still in my body. But it should happen less and less as the chemo works it way out. My energy level is increasing everyday but the stair climbing still gets to me.  The stomach issues from the chemo crop up now and again and I have to watch how often and what I eat.  
Thank you for your continued support and I hope you are all having a wonderful summer!

Another one DOWN!

Last Friday brought another Dr. appt and Herceptin treatment.  I had another MRI June25 and was waiting for this appointment to get the results - Good News, nothing showed on the MRI - WhooHoo!!  Following that I went into the Chemo room for the Herceptin treatment, which is an 1.5 hour IV drip.  Pretty uneventful since there weren't many others there getting treatment and it emptied out while I was there.  This is my second chemo without Mary and the others there but my spirits are still high as I continue to feel stronger and better everyday!

We celebrated Brooklyn's 6th birthday last night.  I'm amazed at how fast the grand kids are growing up and am sooo looking forward to our vacation time together.  Brooklyn has an infectious smile and is so energetic! Melissa decorated everything so cute (as always) with colored netting, ribbons, etc.  What I would have given for a birthday celebration that cool when I was a kid!!  She does so many wonderful things for their kids! I'm so glad she's able to be home with them and do it all (hopefully, her energy will hold out for a few more years, LOL)  We had cupcakes and ice cream and pink chocolate covered strawberries.  Brooklyn opened her gifts - necklace, earrings, sidewalk chalk and a bubble machine.  Dext got the bubble machine going and the kids had fun running around popping the mass of bubbles - and we had fun watching!

Hope all is well you with - and wishing healing and comfort to Caren.
Love you all
Nancy

Happy 4th of July!!

I haven't written since shortly after my last chemo but wanted to let you all know - I'm finally starting to feel more like myself everyday!!  Now if I can just get some strength back but I guess that entails exercise -  well, that's not gonna happen for awhile! I'm trying to enjoy as much summertime as I can before I start radiation in a few more weeks.
My taste is not back to 100% yet and the neuropathy is still giving me issues. But all in all, I'm feeling pretty good and people tell me I'm looking alot better!  (I guess I had the horrible chemo patient look for a while there.)  I have a Dr. appt. this Friday, so I'm hoping he will say that it will steadily improve!  I don't think quite as fast yet - believe me it's been tested alot at work lately!
We're doing a parade and BBQ today and I'm excited to be out among you all again!!
Have a wonderful holiday and hope to see you soon!
Nancy

The Weak After...

They told me each chemo treatment would get progressively worse.  So I was bracing myself for it - but pleasantly surprised that Chemo #5 actually hit me harder than this last one - Yahoo!!  I was even able to make it to Lance's best friend, Ron's wedding last Saturday.  I really wasn't expecting to feel good enough to go.  I' m sure glad I was able to attend!

I met with my radiation Dr. the day before my last chemo.  Dr. Sase (sause) is a very compassionate doctor.  He's really good at reassuring me that everything will be OK. The radiation tech's zeroed in on the area to be radiated, lining up the lasers and then marking me with about eight tiny tatoo dots so they will be able to line the lasers up for each treatment correctly.  And yes, I'd say six of the eight tatoo dots hurt!!  However, that area may be a little on the sensitive side.

We also set the schedule for my radiation treatments.  I need 24 treatments and they said it works best if they are consecutive weeks.  Our family vacation falls right in the middle of the radiation schedule. I had booked the vacation before all this started and I can't change the dates. So the radiation is M-F for five weeks starting July 23rd-Aug. 24th with a day off for July 24th.  The Dr. felt this would work best considering our vacation, the afternoon appt. time slot I prefer, etc.  Otherwise, I would have had to start the treatments right away and  wouldn't feel very good on our vacation.  So, by waiting, I will have about seven weeks to recover from the chemo before starting the radiation treatments. I was hesitant to agree to this at first, because I so want to get this done right away.  But I had a few minutes in the radiation tube to think about it and everything pointed to doing it later.  And I'm excited to start feeling better soon!!!

I emailed Mary to see how she is doing and asked her to let me know how much of the side effects had started to subside as it's been about five weeks since her last chemo.  She said her taste had come back 100% - I so can't wait for that!!  That is one of the hardest parts of this cuz nothing tastes normal or good!  And I absolutely mean NOTHING!!!!!  And yet you have to force yourself to eat to gain any strength back, AND it makes you GAIN weight!  Even Mary was bummed at the weight gain but she said she's already lost almost half of it - Yay, way to go!!  The neuropathy, though, had still not decreased for her.  This is like nerve damage to your toes, feet, fingers and hands.  Makes it hard to find shoes that don't hurt, hard to walk much, hard to button shirts, etc.  I'm currently taking additional med's to mask this, which has made it tolerable enough to wear shoes to work but hard to do much walking around.  The doctors say it can take several months for this to go away or it can be permanent.  So I'm hoping as the weeks go by it will decrease in severity but I'll have to wait and see.  Luckily, I can still type without much discomfort - just lost of errors!

Thanks for reading this blog - I love to read your comments!
Nancy